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memory write ups!
The Welcome Back Suzaku Ceremony
This is essentially a dere memory for Suzaku. I'm not including anything to do with surveillance, but Suzaku would be paying a lot of attention to Lelouch during this time so he would be consciously thinking about the fact that he should be without his memories. He's surrounded by a lot of people he cares about, and they're doing a lot of stupid things together, so Suzaku is mostly occupied by that. This doesn't change his Aather-altered mindset much, except it does give him some insight to the brewing anger that settles inside of him after everything. He can tell this is after he betrays Lelouch, because Lelouch is meant to be memory-less.
Basically, he knows he leaves Ashford for a while and comes back? Rolo is in this memory, which reminds me that I need to thread with him. Suzaku is stalking around and keeping an eye on Lelouch, and he does walk in on Rolo and Lelouch together cutting things. I THINK he would be conscious of the fact that Rolo isn't Lelouch's brother, but he doesn't know how to process that yet, so I haven't ... had him do it ICly just yet.
Afterward, learning that Nunnally died, as well. The talk with Jeremiah and watching over the scene, being left laughing at the destruction.
This is actually a huge memory for Suzaku. Just because of everything that's happened in Aather, and the lack of context is just going to tear him apart. As a result, for the sake of playing and building up CR, he is not going to take it until he's gone and dealt with informing the teams that he's agreed to take on from Lion's game. Because I don't want Suzaku to go hide in a room until he's done his duty, and if he's started his duty, he'll stick to it regardless of his memory.
So, yes! The memory, in summary:
A lot of this happens off-screen, actually. There is no point between episodes eighteen and nineteen of R2 where he finds out on-screen that Nunnally died, but he definitely finds out. I assume he gets taken from the battle and informed of what happens, and that's when he finds out Nunnally (who is a Governor at this point) was killed in the blast he caused. I think I split up these memories for a reason, but yes, Suzaku essentially knows he killed a bunch of people. There is no way I can get around him knowing. He doesn't know why, but thousands of people died at his hands and he's responsible for it.
And most importantly: Nunnally died. Who, in just two memories ago, he claimed he had a plan to protect. She died at his hands. I assume due to the orchestrations that Schneizel had in mind, he made sure to inform Suzaku of what happened, and said it somewhat flippantly, "My sister was lost in the blast ... it was unfortunate," blah blah blah, being a douche, seeming like someone who's not actually heartless, and Suzaku slips into one of his catatonic states.
IT IS ACTUALLY AMAZING HOW MANY OF HIS MEMORIES DEVOLVE INTO THAT AT THE END. Which is why the timing of him taking this is so important.
So, yeah, he finds out that Nunnally died ON TOP OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE, so he goes to the zero ground and just stands silently. He's probably not even THINKING clearly. It's a blur of thoughts. Jeremiah comes up (Suzaku doesn't even know who he is ...), they talk, and then Jeremiah takes off to find Nunnally. To which Suzaku replies, "Nunnally is ..." And obviously, the ending of that sentence is "dead."
The end of the scene concludes with him laughing, horrified, at everything.
WHAT THIS MEANS!
In Aather, Suzaku has strayed a lot from his canon self due to the lack of Euphy memories to augment a lot of his perceptions. Essentially, he is Suzaku if you subtract Euphy from his life. Oddly enough, he has thus raised up Lelouch into that place of importance in his life, as he's more capable of noticing the things his friend did for him and the way that Lelouch obsesses over him. For me, as a player who actually adores Suzaku's relationship with Euphy, it's really bizarre to play with, since so many of his motivations throughout the show wrap around her existence and trying to live up to her memory. In Aather, Suzaku has only one memory of Euphy and god, he did love her, but so much has happened in place of that, and so much has happened with Lelouch, and it's ... hard for him to emphasize her in his mind.
It's so bizarre for me because I love Suzaku/Euphy and how much she plays into his life, but in Aather, he is completely taken with the idea of reminding Lelouch of why he and Lelouch happen to be good friends. Why they were important to one another, and so forth.
The last talk he had with Lelouch was rather silly, but it did include a part where Lelouch ignored everything to ask how Nunnally was. Suzaku is 100% aware of the fact that no matter how close he and Lelouch get, she is the most important thing in Lelouch's world.
And then, it turns out he was responsible for Nunnally's death. I'm sure Zero and his conspirators were blamed for the need for the bomb, but let's be honest: Suzaku will Suzaku-it-up and make it all about his own choices in that situation. He does in canon, he's clearly doing it there in this memory. He's not that good at focusing on other people's faults; even when he's at the end of S1, he's still blaming himself for not arresting Lelouch sooner.
SO THEN HE FINDS OUT HE KILLED NUNNALLY.
Suzaku is not:
- Going to tell anyone. Including Lelouch. Especially Lelouch.
- He will POSSIBLY miss some festivities due to being in his room dealing with the memory of this
- Going to push Lelouch for any kind of mushiness for ... well ... a while. Maybe ever, depending on the memories he gets following this.
Suzaku honestly would tell Lelouch what was going on, if the situations were different, but he knows that Lelouch wouldn't be able to function knowing that Nunnally is dead. Suzaku could deal with the hatred, but he can't deal with how broken Lelouch would be. He couldn't do that to his friend. It might mean that he comes up with some way to put distance between them, but Suzaku isn't exactly a walking intelligence officer. He works by feelings, and though he does swim in his thoughts a lot, he's nothing like Lelouch. In fact, he didn't do fantastic in Lion's game because he was too much of a straight-forward thinker. He might ask Beatrice for advice, but he's not sure. If Seishirou was still in Aather, Suzaku would go to him, because at least he knows how to be conniving.
I fully believe this will blow up in Suzaku's face. But such is the glory of playing from Geass.
This is essentially a dere memory for Suzaku. I'm not including anything to do with surveillance, but Suzaku would be paying a lot of attention to Lelouch during this time so he would be consciously thinking about the fact that he should be without his memories. He's surrounded by a lot of people he cares about, and they're doing a lot of stupid things together, so Suzaku is mostly occupied by that. This doesn't change his Aather-altered mindset much, except it does give him some insight to the brewing anger that settles inside of him after everything. He can tell this is after he betrays Lelouch, because Lelouch is meant to be memory-less.
Basically, he knows he leaves Ashford for a while and comes back? Rolo is in this memory, which reminds me that I need to thread with him. Suzaku is stalking around and keeping an eye on Lelouch, and he does walk in on Rolo and Lelouch together cutting things. I THINK he would be conscious of the fact that Rolo isn't Lelouch's brother, but he doesn't know how to process that yet, so I haven't ... had him do it ICly just yet.
Afterward, learning that Nunnally died, as well. The talk with Jeremiah and watching over the scene, being left laughing at the destruction.
This is actually a huge memory for Suzaku. Just because of everything that's happened in Aather, and the lack of context is just going to tear him apart. As a result, for the sake of playing and building up CR, he is not going to take it until he's gone and dealt with informing the teams that he's agreed to take on from Lion's game. Because I don't want Suzaku to go hide in a room until he's done his duty, and if he's started his duty, he'll stick to it regardless of his memory.
So, yes! The memory, in summary:
A lot of this happens off-screen, actually. There is no point between episodes eighteen and nineteen of R2 where he finds out on-screen that Nunnally died, but he definitely finds out. I assume he gets taken from the battle and informed of what happens, and that's when he finds out Nunnally (who is a Governor at this point) was killed in the blast he caused. I think I split up these memories for a reason, but yes, Suzaku essentially knows he killed a bunch of people. There is no way I can get around him knowing. He doesn't know why, but thousands of people died at his hands and he's responsible for it.
And most importantly: Nunnally died. Who, in just two memories ago, he claimed he had a plan to protect. She died at his hands. I assume due to the orchestrations that Schneizel had in mind, he made sure to inform Suzaku of what happened, and said it somewhat flippantly, "My sister was lost in the blast ... it was unfortunate," blah blah blah, being a douche, seeming like someone who's not actually heartless, and Suzaku slips into one of his catatonic states.
IT IS ACTUALLY AMAZING HOW MANY OF HIS MEMORIES DEVOLVE INTO THAT AT THE END. Which is why the timing of him taking this is so important.
So, yeah, he finds out that Nunnally died ON TOP OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE, so he goes to the zero ground and just stands silently. He's probably not even THINKING clearly. It's a blur of thoughts. Jeremiah comes up (Suzaku doesn't even know who he is ...), they talk, and then Jeremiah takes off to find Nunnally. To which Suzaku replies, "Nunnally is ..." And obviously, the ending of that sentence is "dead."
The end of the scene concludes with him laughing, horrified, at everything.
WHAT THIS MEANS!
In Aather, Suzaku has strayed a lot from his canon self due to the lack of Euphy memories to augment a lot of his perceptions. Essentially, he is Suzaku if you subtract Euphy from his life. Oddly enough, he has thus raised up Lelouch into that place of importance in his life, as he's more capable of noticing the things his friend did for him and the way that Lelouch obsesses over him. For me, as a player who actually adores Suzaku's relationship with Euphy, it's really bizarre to play with, since so many of his motivations throughout the show wrap around her existence and trying to live up to her memory. In Aather, Suzaku has only one memory of Euphy and god, he did love her, but so much has happened in place of that, and so much has happened with Lelouch, and it's ... hard for him to emphasize her in his mind.
It's so bizarre for me because I love Suzaku/Euphy and how much she plays into his life, but in Aather, he is completely taken with the idea of reminding Lelouch of why he and Lelouch happen to be good friends. Why they were important to one another, and so forth.
The last talk he had with Lelouch was rather silly, but it did include a part where Lelouch ignored everything to ask how Nunnally was. Suzaku is 100% aware of the fact that no matter how close he and Lelouch get, she is the most important thing in Lelouch's world.
And then, it turns out he was responsible for Nunnally's death. I'm sure Zero and his conspirators were blamed for the need for the bomb, but let's be honest: Suzaku will Suzaku-it-up and make it all about his own choices in that situation. He does in canon, he's clearly doing it there in this memory. He's not that good at focusing on other people's faults; even when he's at the end of S1, he's still blaming himself for not arresting Lelouch sooner.
SO THEN HE FINDS OUT HE KILLED NUNNALLY.
Suzaku is not:
- Going to tell anyone. Including Lelouch. Especially Lelouch.
- He will POSSIBLY miss some festivities due to being in his room dealing with the memory of this
- Going to push Lelouch for any kind of mushiness for ... well ... a while. Maybe ever, depending on the memories he gets following this.
Suzaku honestly would tell Lelouch what was going on, if the situations were different, but he knows that Lelouch wouldn't be able to function knowing that Nunnally is dead. Suzaku could deal with the hatred, but he can't deal with how broken Lelouch would be. He couldn't do that to his friend. It might mean that he comes up with some way to put distance between them, but Suzaku isn't exactly a walking intelligence officer. He works by feelings, and though he does swim in his thoughts a lot, he's nothing like Lelouch. In fact, he didn't do fantastic in Lion's game because he was too much of a straight-forward thinker. He might ask Beatrice for advice, but he's not sure. If Seishirou was still in Aather, Suzaku would go to him, because at least he knows how to be conniving.
I fully believe this will blow up in Suzaku's face. But such is the glory of playing from Geass.